How much can one person take before they’ve had enough? When is it considered ok to throw in the towel on your dreams? Is it ever? I can’t really say for sure. Though there was definitely a span of 2 or 3 years where I seriously considered it. My living situation was such that I had all the comforts anyone could ask for. I had a fun job making cartoons, it was stable and it payed well. I have a family of 5 to support as well which made the job even more attractive. I had been working nights and weekends on personal projects but not really getting anywhere.
There was a voice in my head that kept getting louder and more convincing the older I got. It would tell me that I was being selfish for wanting something that could potentially put my family’s well being in jeopardy. It would tell me that I had a good job, that payed well. I was in good standing with my employer, and well liked by coworkers. It told me that I had earned the right to enjoy myself in my spare time instead of slaving away on personal projects that seemed impossible to get off the ground.
Surfing became a wonderful distraction for me. It was a blast, and I could do it without any delusions of it going anywhere. When I was surfing was the only time I was able to exist in the present(because if you’re not then you are toast!). It eased the pain that came with no longer enjoying creating art of any kind.
The voice was stronger than ever. “Just let go” it would say. “Once you do you will be so much happier… don’t you want to be happy?”
I almost did it, and if I had it may have worked for a time… Little did I know that the roof was about to cave in on me. But that is a story for another blog post.
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